he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
