i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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