In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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