When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
