We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
