why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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