I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
