I seem to have left my pride at pride
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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