I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
