my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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