It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
