I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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