Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
