i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
