ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
