I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
