im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
