I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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