What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
