Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
