he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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