the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
