i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
babies were throwing up all over the place
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
