ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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