Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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