OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
