remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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