she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
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