She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
