so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
OPIZZABONMYDICK
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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