Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So I just went to clothing optional bar
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
