her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I have tasted many bathrooms
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
