pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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