"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
