i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
