I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
