Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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