i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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