he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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