So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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