her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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