upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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