I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
