I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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