She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
