am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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