watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
