I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
