i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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