and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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