even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
someone owes me an orgasm
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
