i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
