FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
