So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
