Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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