I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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