he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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