you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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